vycc-53

Your two faced make me sick.

2011-12-03T05:46:00.000+08:00

What they teach you:
If you first don't succeed, try, try, again.

What I've learnt:
If you first don't make it, you're fucked.

I don't need your occasional how are you nor do I need your constant presence. I just wanted to be treated with respect, not some kind of act to keep your conversation going.

sunk too low

2011-07-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

I've tried, I really did... Every piece of me is slowly breaking a part.

in life,

2011-05-14T07:16:00.000+08:00

Its the feeling of wanting to succeed but so hard to reach and knowing that there are expectations to meet, faces to face and words to hear that made it so hard. One can constantly work their butts off to try to get there, while to some not getting there is not at all worrying. Then you feel like why are you putting youself into all these trouble when you can just let everything go and just live. I, myself find it really scary to not see a future planned out. Of course its even more scary if its not like what I've seen it. Feeling like you've disappointed people around you, is the worst. I guess I'm still figuring out the whole 'life' thing, looking back all those little setbacks cannot be compared to each of the challenge faced ahead. It just gets harder and you just have to make way for better or for worse, whether you like it or not. And hopefully, you'll grow to be a stronger person.. I guess thats what shape you, eventually.

white bells rings aisle flowers

2011-04-23T09:39:00.000+08:00

Whoever you are, I wish it'll be blessed by everyone else and I'm hoping you'll be the special one. It scares me to not have an image in my mind, it scares me even more to have one and know thats not possible. And so I'll wait and see who you'll be and I hope you're the special one.

傷日快樂

2011-03-18T07:48:00.000+08:00

It seems like everyone else shared their greetings, at the same time none... I guess its just another yesterday. I think I need to grow up now.

Hi are we all alike?

2011-02-23T07:24:00.000+08:00

"...fashion industry and designers who only want to dress women with the same dimensions as lampposts, whose bodies won’t interfere unduly with the uniform drop of their dresses."

"People who make other people, themselves and their partners feel guilty about living, about indulging in simple pleasures, are deeply unerotic, even unlovable."

Taken from an article about Gwyneth Paltrow's figure.

I'm don't know about girls out there but I'm pretty sure nowadays everybody enjoys good food, be it desserts or maincourses. I personally love food to an extent where my stomach doesn't know when to stop. I'm not sure if there is a misconception the public has on really thin skinny people on them hating food, I think they just do not like the fact that they will end up getting fat/looking fat hence the fruit diet/veg diet/water diet.
I do however agree that if your partners, friends or family give you enough compliments instead of criticising every little bits of fats on your body there will be less people in this world feeling so bad about themself. Its true that one who has confidence in themself will come across more sexy and beautiful than one whose not. Well confidence don't just built up by one telling themself their pretty right? Theres another term for one who does anyway.
When was the last time you actually gave a compliment about someone? No not compliments like 'I like your bag', 'Lovely dress!', 'Amazing shoes!' not what their wearing but how they actually look when they are wearing them. I mean yes we love the attention of those things we put together, the only reason we did is to make ourselves look good the first place so why aren't we getting the compliments instead?
I just thought that the public has put too much pressure into women only being perfect if they're from the Victoria's Secret runway, they forgot about the ones who aren't blessed with long legs, big boob, ultra fast metabolism etc. Don't 4'9s or 5'' and below want to look good in couture dresses too? Or are there not designers out there who design for vertically challenge people? Or they're just not meant to wear it at all...

Relativity

2011-01-28T06:21:00.000+08:00

What do people seek in perfection? Why do one wants to be perfect? Who can you become to be the perfect one for someone else? When will anyone realise that even if you struggle to be one, you'll only be perfect if the person that matter most to you thinks you are. You can dress yourself up, seen but then comes along another beauty. You can learn their favourite music, sport, books, movies to find that theres already one they share with. You can be the perfect partner, knowing you're not the first to try. They who tried clearly wasn't perfect enough. Which then you try to be them and so really are you?

The love for bags, shoes and dresses!

2011-01-18T08:20:00.001+08:00

Ugh

2011-01-07T10:33:00.000+08:00

I hate this feeling of trying harder than anybody else but not getting anywhere near, hate the feeling of them not knowing how much of this I wanted, want and still not anywhere reachable. I don't need to feel anymore incompetent.

Mmmm....

2010-12-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

Can you ever mend a broken heart?
Can you heal the wound thats once been so deep?
The tears that put you to sleep.. Might it be better be healed by the ones who made you feel that way? Cause sometimes all the what if will come rushing through my mind and fall into pieces again when its reminded by those painful sleepless nights.

[mixture of two songs]
I don't know how to be something you miss
So I'll watch you live in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are
And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and town
But I never planned on you changing your mind
You've been good, busier than ever
Small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why
Because the last time you saw me is still burning in the back of your mind
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is in your door I understand

I'm a stop over for you, I guess

2010-11-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

''I'm not a stop along the way, I'm a destination'' - unknown.

and you probably knew it yourself...

somtimes...

2010-11-19T08:56:00.000+08:00

you just wish you're someone else...

what I secretly fear too

2010-11-17T09:58:00.000+08:00

Image : postsecret

Its been a while

2010-11-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

On my way back from Coventry last night, bored and going out of my mind I started deleting the 1800++ text messages in my phone. No wonder it lags even more. The first few text dated from aug '07 just before I left, wishing me luck with my future etc. Whats weird is, almost 3/4 of them I don't speak to anymore but the texts were so sincere that reading them now actually cheered me up and encouraged the little me inside to keep on going. Whoever you are, Thank you.

its not mine, but i want it so

2010-08-01T03:24:00.001+08:00

Maybe I should blog again.

And I wished I've done something about it.

you saw me right through

2010-01-30T02:28:00.003+08:00

Cause no matter how hard you try, however much concealer to hide your scar, or sweep the dust under the carpet... they don't disappear, just waiting for you to uncover it. Sure, they don't bother you at all they just quietly stay. What happens when the rain comes and washed away your cover? or when you realised you're accumulating shit under the carpet?
Do you get a new face and a new carpet?

Germany p2

2010-01-26T01:05:00.004+08:00

None of these pictures are in orders of visits. I just click which ever I saw to upload, Shin's one probably gave better description. :D
For a week now, I've been having a free afternoon... slacking doing nothing.(Don't be jealous just yet, labs every afternoon for the next 2weeks). I feel like I should be doing something more productive be it gym, piano revision etc. I blame it on the.. weather! Instead, I've been watching Gossip girl and Glee. (someone please agree with my doing! I bet you would do the same) Everytime I set my mind to doing some ''work'' I ended up doing something else... Ohyes not that I'm surprised with that, I'm a pro at that already so I shouldn't really complain.

Feels like everyones already at the finishing line while I'm still running on stationary, and I couldn't even care less. Go.gym.now.have.enough.spare.tyre.for.each.car.in.Brunei!

and you stop visiting the old memories

2010-01-24T07:31:00.004+08:00

Those hidden right behind all the others in your head, the ones at the corner where its starting to collect dust and cob webs. They're the ones most afraid visiting. No they never leave nor fade away neither can they be replaced. I guess that's why they are special, that's why they have their own place in you.

Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight (I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes (while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
It's been three whole days since I've had sleep
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

Germany p1.

2010-01-23T09:30:00.012+08:00

Pictures in random orders, just to revive this blog. Its pretty dead now.

And so I did learn to stop leaning on anyone.

weird lil feeling

2010-01-22T06:37:00.003+08:00

Chinese pop makes you emo full stop

Are you in love or just feeling comfortable?

I miss writing, I'm scared that one day when I need to look back to remind myself of what had happened before I'll have nothing or no one to remind me - the good and bad times. Weird. But I do enjoy reading the past entries.
Life's been well, as usual I screwed up my first exam/test here. Meehhh~ Other than that guess I haven't had the time to fill my mind with unnecassary stuff.

你终究占据了我的心房
我终於知道什麽叫做疯狂
因为你我不再怕黑暗
想着你让我更加勇敢
你说你害怕曾经受过的伤
过去发生的情节让你迷惘
害怕重演在你身上却步
让你失去了方向
或许我没资格说什麽(有谁不会害怕呢)
但我知道我会愿意等(你相信我的时候)
我会慢慢等.....
等上线的铃声
慢慢等等到我都睡着了
耐心等只为了心动那一刻
我会慢慢等.....
等红灯变绿灯(很鸟吧...)
慢慢等当你突然觉得冷
我会握着温暖在这里等着

(could not read half of the things above but s'kay the singer will teach me the words)

Hey there,

2009-12-13T20:37:00.001+08:00

we'll be best friends, if not the perfect strangers. We'll be all right.

my comfort zone.

2009-12-13T04:47:00.006+08:00

(note: blogmaynotmakesenseand if you're one of those who corrects grammar, you should not start at all... zeroamountofbraincellshavebeenusedforthecontentsbelow)

Ahhh, one of those nights when I can catch up with myself and I'm here blogging (I cannot make out of whether this is sad or a good thing). I actually do miss pouring my thoughts and rubbish here, reading through my older entries actually brought back memories - the ups and the downs, the less obvious ones,etc made me wonder how others interpret them when they read it.

Uni's been good actually, it could've been worse. I am however, eternally grateful to those helpful people here and if any of them actually stumble upon this blog (which I doubt so), you have my biggest THANK YOU! My eversoannoyinglabreport, timewastermathsproblemsheet and actually going by the day. I never thought I could laugh not cause I was trying to be nice but because I did have fun. Made my away from the crazy people back home much easier.
I now believe that someone up there must really love me for me to have met all of them (and really hate them for letting them meet me).
I should really be doing some work now. A part of me feels really dumb evertime I ask a question cause they're either ''doh-Vivien'' or ''where have you left your brain'' type of questions.

Also, I've realised that my sense of direction is rubbish! All these while I know its bad, I just didn't thought it could get any worse. If in any case, it should have improved.
Friend X made me repeat the stop I was suppose to get down from and the number of the bus I was suppose to get on. Got on the right bus, but knowing me... obviously I did not get down the right stop.
Uh-huh, those who knows me well will say "yea we saw that coming".

I fell in love with Portebello market and Covent garden.
Bicester village is to be avoided until further notice.
Not having 5small meals a day does not mean you can have 3hugeassmeal with 2daysworthjunkfood.

I miss swimming and playing pool.

''I'm Chuck Bass and I love you"

Don't play the victim cause the blames on you

2009-11-20T06:11:00.004+08:00

so what now? =/

Did not manage to catch the meteor shower on Tuesday although there were more stars than the usual London night sky I stared at these pass two years. Ice skating is no longer scary to me and has been categorised under 'fun' instead of 'disastrous' in my dictionary for now.

So instead of Greece, I'll be spending x'mas in Germany(!!!!). I am very excited and looking forward to it. *Scream* I haven't been talking to people back at home as much as I thought I would, I sure hope everyone is still breathing and not emofied. I miss Yaps and BT9288 and driving in BK2333 :/

Feels like I'm on holiday instead of going to Uni which shouldn't really be the case. I've overslept once so thats not too bad. Slept in lecture, everyone else does it anyway. Missing deadlines, not intending to. I still feel out of place when it comes to level of understanding here. I swear these people are not from Earth. :( Gahh... and Maths should just stop at solving simultaneous equations. I now attend Allien class 3hrs/wk. Well done me.

then why did you do what you do?

2009-11-08T22:02:00.001+08:00

You don't wana be I.

I saw it in her eyes
When I was sayin' goodbye
That girl, she ain't gonna be alright
'Cause I could tell
She'd be goin' through a livin' hell
And I wouldn't be there by her side

And Lord I felt so bad as I sat and watched her cry
Thinkin' I was movin' on and she was barely gettin' by

Look at what I've done to her
Low at how I made her feel
I gave back her heart, the broken part
She got the wrong end of the deal
And look at what it's done to me
You gotta know it tears me up
I gave it everything I had, and
Lord, it just wasn't enough
And hurtin' her like this seems so wrong
Yeah, look at what I've done to her
Now she's alone

I saw her out last night
And she was havin' a good time
That girl, it looks like she's doin' fine
But then I saw a man
Walk up and take her by the hand
And I, oh God, I almost died

And then it hit me, she didn't really need me
I just sat there for a while, until I finally smiled

Look at what I've done to her
Low at how I made her feel
She's found somebody new
And look who took the time to heal
And look at what it's done to me
You gotta know it tears me up
To have walked away from the love we made
And just leave it in a cloud of dust
And now it's got me thinkin' maybe I was wrong
After all the things I've done to her
Now she's strong

I walked up and said hello
She said, "It's good to see ya
But hey, I've gotta go"

Look at what I've done to her
Low at how I made her feel
She's standin' tall, she's got it all
Got the world at her heels
And look at what it's done to me
Look at how it makes me hurt
If I could go back now
I swear somehow
I'd find a way to make it work

Ain't life funny
Now I'm the one alone
Look at what I've done to me
She's gone

TAGS!

2009-11-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

Hongy : Thanks for keeping my tagboard alive darling :D buttercup saved me but still got abit of cold for now.
chiao : Haha I haven't actually look through the book yet, why did you not like it? Isnt the autor a prof in oxford? (I may be wrong here) I bought the whole set though since they suggested =s
Chai : as you can see, my room is less messy now as compared =/ at least I think it is since the last time you've came over... Seriously theres much space here you know.
fie : Wa chin ho (2weeks before and after your tag) thanks x) although one of my friend thinks the shirt is geeky haha
cheahwen : I didn't realise your tag was even before I got here. BUT at least we've met up! come by again soon :D
wen : where are are you? =/

sugar rush babe

2009-10-31T11:57:00.006+08:00

On Oct 18th, we went China town to give Suang a ''surprise'' one day adavance birthday gathering. (mmyea I did noticed it was a week ago) She wasn't surprised, as usual. She was late, not surprised :D haha but I don't know if I've said this enough, THANKS Suang! For always helping me out, taking me in when I was homeless and always there when I need a shopping buddy :)
It may be late but may ~~love~~ all good things come your way.

Its 4am on Saturday morning, weekends should be the time when I catch up with my sleep but it felt like ages since I last blogged. Since I'm in the mood for it, might as well update a lil bit. I was just looking through all the old pictures in Brunei, the times in MS, The Mount etc and had flashbacks about every little thing while listening to sappy music. What happened to our yesteryears? Now, I'm actually in.. Uni.

It felt like I haven't played the game for a long time, I almost forgot what and how it felt like or even how its being played now.

one that has not been played for a long time.

2009-10-15T05:48:00.003+08:00

She's just amazing and it would be a shame if she's not to be heard. She's probably between 7-8years old at the moment but I can assure you she plays better than any 30years old I know out there.

I got side tracked by this lil girl while reading my lab work for tomorrow. Its freaking me sligtly as I'm a very clumsy person so hopefully all will be fine.
I'm settling down all rigt here so far, other than having to prepare for myself food for every meal I'm not complaining much YET. I do however need to start hitting the gym, I miss playing basketball so much. :(
(this post sounds much more serious than my usual post ???)
.
.
.
Skyped with my parent just then, it was awesome. I miss them! Although my mum had to wake up at 2 in the morning but its cool. I'm feeling the love =) Currently down with fresher's flu. Nearly 3/4 of the people in lecture were coughing since the beginning of this week.

Mmya.

something new, something real

2009-10-12T06:16:00.009+08:00

Hello readers, seems like I have not update for a loooooong time. Not that it needs any mentioning :) so yea... pictures of thousands word for you to look at. I'll do a proper post soon. (All thanks to chai who inspired me to update this blog haha)

At the aiport, where we all went out seperate ways.

till then, 2010

(Pictures in random orders)

At the neon party at my hall. I don't actually have much pictures with me though.

(haha note the Ts I was wearing was in the first pic too! I seriously need a change of wardrobe)

At Mews with Chai and other IC seniors :D (and Nigel's mum)

And a look of my room.

I swear my arms were gona break when I carried all these book from campus back to my place. Yea, I sorta decided to buy the books. As to whether or not I'll even open it, that we shall wait and see.

Room was messy when photoswere taken, slightly better now :D

Boat party, cruise around river Thames.

Till here then...

jasmine villegas

2009-08-10T13:34:00.010+08:00

Shitson I love her hair and I think she's beeautiful for a 14(??) year old. Last I checked she was 12. Together with Thia Megia(click!!) and Jessica Sanchez, the 3 of them were pretty good for such young girls man. Why did I not get the filipino's blood when I come to singinggg?? WHYYYY???

Life's all right :)

I guess I'm still alive

2009-07-25T00:06:00.005+08:00

Haven't blogged for a million years! Not that anyone has noticed but I've been out most days. I do miss staying at home catching up with myself but whenever I think about doing so it seems like I've already made plans 2weeks ago. Busy doing what? I don't know either, I do know I've been driving with my dad beside me screaming at every turn I made but thats cool, I feel all grown up :D Everytime I said I'll drive, my brother goes 'FML.' I have one or two going 'Yes Chia end my life now' I felt all the love and support, I sure did. Personally, I don't think I'm all THAT bad.

I think I've been to most places I want to and tried most of the food I craved for ever since I got back. My biggest regret however is the whole HK trip thing, I wished I've went. And now theres the whole complication with my ticket blaaah. I've been going for yoga and spinning classes at Groove as well as some random shiz in fitness zone to compensate for all the food intake. As to whether or not its effective, I'll let you be the judge.

I stepped in HuaHo bunut for the first time ever today and it felt like I was in a whole new different country, going 'OMG, I must ask ma/pa to come here again, OMG I want this and that, OMG I'm in heaven on earth' (over liao chia please). I even tried two games in the empty arcade. Sad to see that there weren't as much customers as I thought there will be.

Have I mentioned, Eric Bana is not the Henry I had in mind? Yea I meant to.
Harry Potter was just all right.
Thread of Destiny is... hanging. Cause I've only watched half of it, its abit random for my liking. I mean, who runs to the edge of a tall building and jumps down.... like that?

The new KFC chicken macaroni cheese whatever shiz in Gdg Mall is disappointment, epic failure.

I came across this personality test so I took it (not from facebook please, but it seems like one of those facebook application would have) I can't help but think its a bit true. Or do they say the same about everyone?

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as ou meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education :
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Another end of a chapter

2009-06-23T05:01:00.003+08:00

We just had a boarders party in the college garden, only then I realised I'm leaving the Mount for good. Its been a long-short two years. Especially this year, it went by so quickly that I didn't even realise its the time of the year again. Just last year we had bbq in the garden and just then was my last time.
I am thankful for given this oppurtunity to be here and I'm glad its the Mount that I've ended up in. Despite the fact that internet facilities are rubbish, the member of staff and some of the girls here have made the stay away from home more tolerable and memorable. Not to mention the friends and family whose been giving moral supports all the way from home. :) Couldn't have done it without you guys.

I haven't started packing and I just found out that I do have a lot of stuff laying around, we're only limited to one box and one suitcase. I've got medium and small luggages with about 3-4 china bags. Where did all these come from, I have no idea. I swear they're reproducing themselves. I'll be back again to retrieve these when I get back, by then I seriously need people to come up to York with me. Anyone? I'm shotgunning this person who'll be in Newcastle since he's nearer HAHA... ABUSE LABOUR!
And I can't be bothered to pacckkk! I hate packing, its always a sign of departing just when you've gotten use to the place.

replies

2009-06-22T06:08:00.003+08:00

Thanks for keeping my tagboard half alive while I'm not here to update or reply tags. So the replies will go from the one way back.
The usuals :)

Khal : thanks for the luck with the exam. Hope yours went well too. When will you be back? :) Hope you're all well there enjoying yourself.
Hhui : Huan hui ka? haha miley cirus yo butterfly caterpillar thingamajig. Have a good vacation.
Rue : Thanks rue OCR physics A burrn!!! Ugh, hopefully they'll mark down the boundaries if not no more boxing days for me haha. Hope you're enjoying yourself in Lisbon :) See you in Brunei.
Wana : Thanks =) haha your turn next year.
Shin : Your love blossom2 still have ka? I'll finish off the first one first. Thanks for all the luck and encouragement. I hope the econs papers treated you better than the physics to me. We're done with A levels now man. Can't believe we've gone through all these since primary3. Have a safe journey back home. We'll definitely have lotsa meet up.
CheaHong : Hahah appreciate your texts and messages =D hopefully both of us can pull it through this time. Yea the pictures just didn't show the huge zits on my face. Can play match the dots and draw continents on my face with the pimples man. Siao hormones. See you in a week!
Yan : EHEM. cough* I see (I really don't) ahah. You should attend more chinese lessons so you can start writing yout own emo songs if you get what I mean. ;)
Jances : Thanks Jances!! Haha I hope the worry free holidays would remain that way until result day. Hows the donation thing for yours and minghui's marathon going?
Emz : xie xie ni ai mei li. your birthday is one of the event I'm looking forward to this summer ;) hint*hint* Don't overwork yourself and EAT MORE!

Once again, I really appreciate the luck and that push everyone gave me during this exam period. May you all be bless with nothing but good things :D

I can only be more grateful

2009-06-22T05:37:00.007+08:00

Thats the dress I'm wearing for my strawberry ball from Debut in Debenhams. Obviously the model wore it better than I do and a shorter length but who am I to complain.

It was between that or this French connection dress. What made me made my choice I don't know, but I do know that my flabby arms would not look flattering in this little mini dress.

although this dress is ace too. And its a more young funky looking dress compared to the one before.
But to be honest all dresses look good until I put them on me.
Like bao ba zhang loh.

trilalalalalala....

2009-06-21T20:57:00.006+08:00

Yes, as most have known.. I'm done with A levels!! I have to say its not the easiest exams (duh) Physics was horrible to the core, FurtherMaths turned out all right but thats only 2 out of 6 papers so chances are slim as for Chemistry, the synoptic module is one mean mean paper.

With that aside, its just the result now. I know I complain and whine a lot about my results but lets face the fact, everyone who sat for these papers would know how I feel. So when result day is out and if I don't get into the Uni I wanted to... you get the picture.

I've fed myself with series right after exams and got hooked. Now I'm done with Little Nyonya!!! Nex to come Love blossom. Pack, must pack. Been dress hunting with Dina as well for the strawberry ball for two entire days before we manage to find any decent one. If only one is tall and slim, dresses would not be hard to find. Hmmm....

Other than that, Dina and I volunteered for the local hospice on friday where we stood on the streets waiting for people to offer donations in exchange for a little sunflower pin.
You know how you see people on the road asking for donation with a little bucket, yea found a whole new respect for them. Standing there for about 3hours long, smiling and all isn't as easy as it looks. So do help them by donating. I was quite doubtful at first since but there are actually some good people out there who'll just come up to you or stop and turn to donate even if its not much.
The funny bit is well I'd like to say its not me that made a baby cried. She wanted the whole box but the father took her hands away from the flowers and gave her one. I could actually hear her crying even when she was 2 blocks away.

We had pizza express after that. I didn't have my camera so we're only fooling around with my phone.

Uh-huh, I'm still sane and breathing :)

I shall see you guys in a week and a day.

And on your wedding day, I'll play/record this song for you...

you've smashed the headlights

2009-06-13T06:24:00.002+08:00

Thanks for all the comfort and advices I've been getting :) I guess I know I'm the type of person who needs to talk a lot of sense into myself to make myself feel better but you guys made it easier to do so. I swear its the period that's pushing me to the edges.

While most of the people finished their exams, mine is yet to start. I've only sat for 2 Alvl paper and the rest were practicals and general studies. And the rest all has to be on the same week, 5papers from Monday to Thursday consecutively. Its like your life is in the hands of that very week. Exams are seriously whole loads of rubbish! Grr... You study for almost your whole life and at the end of the day you sit for one bloody exam that might not even have questions that make sense or to do with anything you've read so far. You're screwed if you had a bad day, you're even more screwed if your brain decided to go on holiday. Argh.

Swine Flu, please go play in Mars... Stay away from Earth, stay away from Hong Kong (I am really looking forward to my holiday here), you can come and play when you decided to keep the virus to yourself. Sharing is not always caring. Please and thank you.

2009-06-11T00:57:00.001+08:00

Don't see the point anymore. Guess its goodbye.
Please do tell me theres such thing as miracle.

4 more weekends!

2009-06-04T04:39:00.003+08:00

Hello world, haven't been blogging or replying tags and exams are just excuses I suppose. As most of you will know, I'm a very lazy person who I hate to admit but procrastinates alot. 'I got time, I got time' and then in the end asked 'where did all the time go?'

While some people have started/going to finish their exam mine haven't even started except if you count general studies. Hence revision is going slow. I know I'm gona hate myself later when result doesn't turn out the way I want it cause I've wasted all these time! 2weeks of study leave then 1week half term and here I am now. With those time, some very determined people can even learn the whole syllabus forward and backward. =/ Sigh.

I've finally applied to my accommodation. Picked 4twin ensuite and 1single nonensuite, hopefully I get the ones I want. The prices in london is KERAZEE! Even the price difference as to whether or not you get to shit in your room in peace or share toilets to shit is huge. Gahh... I couldn't decide whether or not to go for single or share it with a total stranger but the cost of it sorta narrowed it down for me. At least I know theres someone to wake me up if I overslept. Fingersandtoescrossed* I guess its nice to know that when I get back from Uni I won't be all alone in the room. I've been having roomates for 2years and sleeping in room all by myself kinda feels... lonely. Please God, let it be nice people :( I'll learn to cook so they'll like me too. Other than meegoreng and rice, I've never actually cooked for myself. Not even boil an egg. I'M SO ASHAMED. Um, how do you tell if an egg is boiled? Even more ashamed now. I've baked cookies though (which ended up looking like cake *laugh at self*)

School hasn't been feeding us well. Anna just came in to our room and asked for food, cause we always have food but not this time! And this time, its EMERGENCY!! I'M HUNGRY!! I'm craving for char siew fried rice. Food in general. Ok I'm whining too much and I can't even cook. *cries out loud*

亲爱的.那不是爱情

2009-06-01T04:50:00.002+08:00

你说过牵了手就算约定
但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星
再怎么美丽也只能是曾经
太美的承诺因为太年轻
但亲爱的那并不是爱情

Back in York now :)
18 more days and I'm done with Alevels.
WISH ME LUCK!

another sleepless night

2009-05-28T08:41:00.003+08:00

Can't sleep for some odd reasons, neither can 2 of my other roomie so I'm chatting to Dina on msn when I'm on the upper bunk bed and she's right below me. Technology these days... All you need is just move your fingers.
I guess the whole exams thing is starting to make me really worried, a part from that also my lack of revision. Guess I have nobody to blame. Its nothing to be proud of, I wished I could answer 'Ohyea, I've revised I'm almost done actually' instead of the usual 'nah.. I'm only watching series' How loser can that get huh? For that, I've been keeping myself indoors resisting myself from shopping so that I won't feel guilty for not revising. Hiding myself in the room however is getting me emo other than going out to get food, I hardly step out of Brunei hall man. Half of me can't be bothered to walk/get myself to wherever my destination is and the other half is asking me to study first shop after exams when I have tonnes of free time.

Most of you would probably know the whole ManchU vs Barca match thing already then. Decided to watch it since its the 'important' match throughout these whole competition thing. Missed out the first 15-20mins cause its... football (sorry but my interest in football is still negligible). Only to find out the first goal was within then. Bummer. Sat there for another good *count toes and fingers* minutes to realise that the next goal was in again. The other team in white jersey still with nil. Darn, I was rooting for them.

I really miss playing basketball. Although I know I will never be good at it, I suppose that's one sport that I really liked and still like.

Its one of those time when I feel like I'm stagnant. Waiting for something that I don't even know whether still exist or not to happen. Funny thing is I don't even know what I'm waiting for. I suppose I could say I'm content with what I have. These daily routine fills up my time, whether or not the time is spent in a productive way. I would like it better if it is though. What next when I get bored of these routine? Damnit I'm only nineteen. Shit that rhymed didn't it? I should start liking cats and maybe not be afraid of dogs now, at least they can keep me company.
Anyone heard Miley Cyrus's Butterfly fly away? Its on repeat three times now. Ohgosh?

just smile and shit won't happen

2009-05-27T22:36:00.002+08:00

Someone please press the green button.

h-e-l-p

2009-05-24T05:10:00.003+08:00

I feel so restless being in the room in bhall now. Its so hot and stuffy. I've been munching none stop and now I feel sick.
Dina and I went to Double take studio yesterday thanks to Tyng who recommended us to it. Basically we have our hair and make up done and have a session of photoshoot with 3 different outfits. Like you know those modelling-ish type with different sets and background.
I opted for the natural look with curls/waves... I think I ended looking like someone whose going up for chinese opera. Mou ngan tai. I didn't buy any of those pictures in the end cause if I did, I might end up burning them. It was like a wake up call.
Overall, was a good fun experience.

Met up with Tyng later on the day with Shin and Suang, put 4girls together and you can talk bout this to that and ways to get thinner in less than 2weeks. It was a good catching up session.

Hmmm.. Haven't been in a blogging mood lately. Haven't done anything productive and Shin, my supplier of series has come to rescue me with 2 more series to watch. Wheee...
Work.Work.Work.

If walls have ears and mouths

2009-05-19T06:09:00.004+08:00

then there will be no more nice guy in this world. Nor will there be anyone left alone.
and everyone will be in deep shit.

I've finally finished moonlight resonance, glad thats out of the way. One step closer to revision. Whoopee.

Dina and I went to town this afternoon, it was drizzling so we waited for the sun to shine again before heading out. Few hours later of being in town, it was pouring like mad. I suddenly miss the feeling of being under the rain not having to worry about getting my shirts and pants wet. Can't really remember the last time I was under the rain. Even when its just drizzling, I'd still be covering myself. You know how some people use their hand to cover their heads when even a 5years old know your hands aren't big to cover your entire body anyway. Yea those.
Nah, I had my umbrella ready of course. Next time, next time I'll play under the rain again.

Happy 19th birthday Hoe Lee/Li! (Correct age ka?)
It seems like I'll always remember you three as the 3 boys who sits in front of me during f4/f5. Pretty funny la... Thats when Aaron still has his moodswings and hair wax promoter, Chern the good boy who try to finish homework in class and the anime Yui fan, Faris who liked Khal (LOL! Ok that was a joke).
Time to learn some skillz from Hoe Wai man. His guitar skill is damn right hands down chick magnet! Anyway, all the best and goodluck with your A level! (and me too) Soon be over and then be off to Uni.

These jokes are not funny anymore.

2009-05-16T06:39:00.003+08:00

Damn that Moonlight Resonance (yea I know its ages ago but I've never finished it). Made me cry every episode and I'm only on episode 17, with 33more to go. Those damn old fags. Ugh. If I could strangle them, I will. Stupid bitches. Ok over liao, just a series.

I miss my family.

GASP*

2009-05-15T04:40:00.003+08:00

I just realised Love Blossom is actually in my hard drive, meaning 58episodes of s'pore series calling on me... But no... must.resist. Borrowed The Time Traveler's wife from Annemarie just so I could get away from revision. I'm doing everything but study. Hmmm...
Try harder Chia. Yes Cheahong I will.
Yan, just saw your messages.. should I be worried? Aka's idea some more le.
Internet's having its own mood swing nowadays, it comes when its happy it goes when its not.

I'll be there for you~ (when the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you~
Back to Friends. Study leave is bliss o:)

Slapself*

Kim Bum

2009-05-14T06:01:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY DZAF! :)
My other partner when it comes to drooling over BBF/BOF with ChiaYi. Right since you have LeeMinHo printed all over in your new mug (jealous is I) I'll gladly settle for that guy below. Hope you had a wonderful time!

Oh Bummer. I didn't even know where or when or how it started, remember those days when I was a crazy fan of you know who... I think I'm getting that again with this person.Those who has experienced my craziness would, understand. I can be a... scary stalker O_O

It just happened gradually.. been weeks since I last finished watching BBF/BOF and suddenly, this person just cross my mind again and again.

He pulled off the hoodie/cap look.

He pulled off the smile without teeth look.

And.... ohhh need I say more?

I spent my study leave today watching first season of Friends. Laughed my butts off. Ohright, I suppose thats not the purpose of study leave. Will try harder.

laughed and cried

2009-05-11T05:43:00.010+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MA! I wished you were here to watch me on Saturday morning. I was secretly jealous of the kids who could bring their parents in but I know if you could, you would. Thanks for putting up with me :)

Another unproductive day today. I'm starting to worry alot bout my accomodation in Uni now. I may just have to settle with having an unknown roomate again. Sigh.
Was having a movie marathon today cause I really can't be bottom to do any work. Watched 28days followed by angus, thongs and perfect snogging. I cried so bad watching it... its another teen chick flick and alil bit of bridget jones going on as well. But the scene bout the parent one just got me all teared up. When it comes to family scenes, they can make me cry in a snap.
Which quickly moved on to hysterical laughters when the other Bruneians and I watched Ahlong Pte. Another job well done to Jack Neo. Still on my wishlist/dreamlist to be a cast of his movie even if its just calafe(extras).

And mind you, of course there are major alerts in the movie,
Robbie played by Aaron Johnson and Tom played by Sean Bourke.

Man, this blog is starting to be filled up by random guys picture. It almost made me look like some crazy maniac.

Study leave officially starts tomorrow, and I just realised I have General studies AS. Since the last GP lesson in MS, I've never properly had any english lessons anymore and mine was never any good. I almost gave Mrs. Whitehead a heart attack with the mock I did during olvls, I'm sure some people would have remembered.

stooppidiiitiii-y

2009-05-10T05:38:00.000+08:00

I just spelt consequtive with a Q and fimiliar with an I.
And if you put them together it gives QI.
Turn them around you get IQ.
well done me.

in my little own world,

2009-05-09T06:19:00.002+08:00

During dinner time while getting our food, with my usual buddy...
Me : I'm coming up with a plan to make everyone fat and so I can be thin myself
Dina : Uh-huh like the saying 'Dear God, if you can't make me thin... Please make all my friends fat'

Before you start reading this, no I have not been attacked with any rough comments. I was just reading too much Cosmo.
To be honest I would never say no to food, who would? Asking me to cut back on what I eat is like asking me to touch a frog. I think nowadays people take looks to an extend that they should be ashamed for. And I cannot handle people who are say, UK size4-6(anything below that you should start feeding yourselves) who complain bout them being fat. I am slightly annoyed at myself too now for complaining bout my weight after eating all these food. Those innocent food should only be complimented. Should you even blame those food then don't eat them in the first place. Might as well live on rabbit food.

I'm not saying its good to be 'big' but if you're healthy that way and is free from any illnesses then you're as good as anyone with normal weights. Of course, everyone wishes to be like what they see on Tv or magazines but we're born the way we are and so why not just make us of it? I admit I am quite conscious bout my looks, if you not already know that... I would go to the gym and work out and such as long as I know I'm still 'healthy'. I'm proud to say that I can be the person you can bring out on a meal anytime and not feel bad bout eating too much. I'd gladly accompany you for that.... and in return you can be my gym buddy.

Finished with my Hana yori dongo2 this afternoon as well as rewatching the first season. Oguri Shun... *fangirlsigh* Its ok, Makino doesn't want you... Wasabi does. (I named myself Wasabi if ever I need a japanese name... Dina's Sushi cause we're roomies)
We watched Beauty & the Beast after school while treating ourselves with cakes from Starbucks. Carrot passion cake to go :)
Both going 'ahhhh' 'ooooh' and think the beast is hot after he transform to his original human look. I could watch any disney movies (those classics ones) over and over again. I would definitely still be watching it with my kids next time, more excited than them even. These fairy tales story and drop dead romantic guys you see in tv series make girls like me even more unrealistic. A girl can really dream.
Btw, guys who can pull off scarves, hoodies and beanies... 20points extra.

Gengar! Gengar!

2009-05-07T04:45:00.002+08:00

ARGH, lately my attention span is like that little. I tried doing more work in the morning cause when night falls I just automatically switch off no matter how hard I tried. YES, I. AM. TRYING. (ignore the fact that Hana yori dongo2 is calling for me every night) ugh, I'm really fed up with school which this friday, would be the last day of lessons then study leave starts.

Btw I'm in love with Oguri Shun all over again, say whatever you want but he has this thing that attracts me.... except when he smiles :S weird.

I was mistaken as a CollegeI by the same teacher twice in less than 1hour during PE.
Scene one:
Me : Ms. S, do you want my keys for the locker since we're not having anymore lessons next week.
Ms. S : Oh right, keys... no hang on you're coming back after study leave. You're in college I.
Me : No... I'm in college II.
Ms. S : Really? *looking puzzled*

After PE,
Ms S : ALL college I collect the bats and balls back please... (while pointing to me the bats on the field)
Me : I'm a college II.
Ms S : Yeah right, you're lying you're college I, you're only college II next year.
Me : *bemused*
Someone else : No she is in college II.

Ms S : Oopps.. sorry

pettyfied.

2009-05-04T06:02:00.004+08:00

Im like a statue,
stuck staring right at you,

fangirl.
The apartment Raihan found was awesome! We'll be going back York on Monday, I guess I should get to my physics planning now.
8more saturdays and I'm back (If i didn't get that wrong, start making crosses on your calendars)

Ooh Ahh

2009-05-01T04:39:00.005+08:00

At first when I saw the title I thought the songs gona be like hrmm... then the rhythm got stuck in my head then the lyrics started to make sense. HAHA..

Since you're a symphony from me and you, and you, and you

With every up and down

Playing your body like the strings on a Spanish Guitar

I know you inside out...

We're making music now

Uh-yea tell me you're that innocent and not know what they were doing, yea they're just making music :)

Anyway, I just got back from the Amnesty concert held it school. They do that every year. The same old... a few girls singing, normal jumping around and seeing girls moving with the wrong colour of hair extensions and ridiculously short trousers. Which means I've used up another night doing nothing productive. Its starting to hit me slowly that things NEEDED to be done and revisions are necessary to get your grades. (duh)

Right, I'm sure everyone has heard bout the whole Swine flu thing which got big over last weekend. Funny thing, or maybe not, *clear throats* is, IF this so happen to become serious school will be shut down and as for our A levels, they would use our mocks as our final result. Like OMFGWTFBBQKNNCCB. With that result, I'd be sleeping by the roadside. I wouldn't even make it to clearings really. Ohwell, huffpuff.

The sun was shining on a Monday and then it started to rain consequtively right after I put on my Little Miss Sunshine Tshirt.

Off to Liverpool tomorrow for the weekend. School kicked us out for Maybank holiday. Its the 1st of May wheeee :)

play me that lullaby again.

what do these people eaaat?

2009-04-27T23:52:00.003+08:00

First theres that Susal Boyle, whose well 47. Then you see people like Hollie Steel whose 10 and Shaheen Jafargholi whose 12. And then what are they gona do when they're 50? I don't really follow the whole Britain's got talent, but these people.. are like wtf mate? The other two dance group flawless and diversity are like phooaa... and the whole lot of other crazily talented people.

Confession, there were tears in my eyes watching ShaheenJ. not cause he's good, everyone can hear him sing for themself but I admire his guts to still go on, for a 12years old when Simon stopped him half way through. Its like crushing a 12year old (not to mention the effect they add it pfft)... then he started singing proving him wrong. Plus he look like a very sweet cute little kid.

I feel so talentless now, I shall sit in the corner and cry. I can only eat, sleep and probably laugh like a mad hyena.. oh no wait Cheahong beats me in that (darn) with her 'like suffocating laugh' HAHA kidding love. =)

I never said I'd stop complaining

2009-04-25T04:40:00.005+08:00

Glad to say I'm still breathing in oxygen and giving out carbon monoxide. And as usual, instead of appreciating the wonders in life.. complaining bout it is, well what we all do best. Uh-huh remember the whole everything has an equal opposite effect on each other. Yea didn't fail to apply again. Easter hols I had a greatwonderfulbombastic time, came back mocks on the first day result terriblehorrendousbombthatfailedtoblowout type of result. Expected anyway.
(no I breath out carbon dioxide, if you realised then well done if you don't... ohwell)

Yes I started boys over/before flower way long ago but refusing to finish it cause streaming it is such a hassle. Thanks to that shop that sells youknowwhat just right next to that restaurant thats famous for its curry/asam fish head/tail and that bluewalledrestaurent on its one end, they produce dvds/cds faster than the producer make money. Downside, they have the worst subtitle... I don't even wana start with that. Good thing the actors in it is worth the trouble. I cannot handle bad subtitles.

So mmhmm, I agree with Shin that I want Jihoo to be with Jandi even in the other 2version. Like come on man, its so obvious the director wants jihoo and jandi to be together but can't do anything bout it since the whole meteorgarden/hana yori dongo script writer said no no cannot cannot. He is without a doubt, hands down sweet that it is impossible for such act to exist in the real world. Oh he can be my scarf anytime.

Hana Yori Dongo 2 is waiting for me right after. Eheh now that they have taiwanese, japanese and korean version. Lets have the Bruneian one la shall we?
I think Eric can be Dao Ming She/Jyun pyo/Domyouji, all he need is curly hair where bokh can give him a few pointers (HAH I just had to put that in... not like he'll ever see this anyway)
What was I thinking.

A'ST1 - Yearning Of The Heart
I kinda like that song, no I do not understand a word but I think I heard 'something something korean girl.. hey/you're my girl'.

Ohright, I came back to study. mmhmm.

GAHHHHHHH

2009-04-23T04:52:00.002+08:00

I wana sleep and sleep and sleep without feeling guilty.
I wana eat and eat and never get fat.
I don't want to study :(
2 MONTHS!!

I'm back in UK, as if you don't know. Mocks been shite, tomorrow will be the worst.

Very looking forward to Little nyonya. YAY me.

btw, is this good?

2009-04-13T20:05:00.000+08:00

le'me know. thanks.

But I wish you the best, I guess.

2009-04-13T17:41:00.011+08:00

I don't care what the people say
They brought it all in anyway
Baby don't fill up your head with he-said, she-said
It seems like you just don't know
The radio's on, you tuning me out,
I'm trying to speak, you're turning me down
And I hope one day you'll see nobody has it easy...
Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows

How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt

We've heard it all before, that everybody knows
How to make it right, I wish we gave it one more try

The Jai ho song is stuck in my head :S (what does Jai ho means?) And looking at Nicoleschtoocomplicatedformetosay dance make me want to.. d..a... *slapself* no no completing that sentence itself is wrong. Eric thinks I eat like a monster, but he still loves me and my flabby arms. Gary uses his arms on me whenever he sees me with food he wants that I refuse share. I'm glad theres these people to watch over my weight for me. Roight.

Great weekend I had, I've never remembered having such long weekend. Friday itself felt tiring enough, woke up Saturday morning with a text 'Guys what day is it today?' Everyone was pretty dead that night than any other nights yawning thousands of time, despite that it was still fun. Thanks for another awesome night guys, made coming back more worth while. As usual, pictures are up on facebook and also can be found on Yan's blog. Thanks to Kae's camera haha
The plan was 1week play, 2weeks study.. then again we all know thats just something we say to make ourself feel better.

its been a while since coming to this blog and find pictures post. Caught a cold and lost my voice after all that. Be grateful before I start blabbing away again :)

OMFGWTFBBQ

2009-04-08T13:51:00.004+08:00

JUST EFFIN' STOP. FCUK. AAARRGGGGHHHHH!
(since I can't find anyone to scream at, I guess this blog was set up for a reason)
I almost forgot how dads can be when their nagging mode is on. I am more annoyed at the fact that they're making more sense than I am, but I'd like to think for the moment they are not.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.........
Another person telling what I should and shouldn't do about this whole shizzlemanizlefcukingbusiness, I swear I would scream my lungs out and do exactly what they tell me not to. (fine fuck no I won't).
You think I like putting myself through this ah? Only 19 ok. Fcuk. Its not the end of the world k, not just yet.
.....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE(.....)EEEEEEEugh! Fcuk fcukidy fcuk fcuk.

I would apologise for this rudeness but ahh whatever.
UGGH k fine i'm sorry. HECK wtf, I'm going to sleep and hoping not to wake up until dinner time. AH SHIT. I will delete this post when I manage to give a f bout it.
ah fcuk.

none of us are blind.

2009-04-07T20:14:00.006+08:00

Have I mentioned? I've replied to UCAS already, my heart skipped 4beats faster worrying that I might have clicked on the wrong one (at this very moment, I'm logging into UCAS to make sure I didnt). After the whole UCL vs. Southampton, I decided to have IC and UCL instead. London gives me mixed feelings, I love and hate it very much. As much as I keep saying I want to go to a place where theres not gonna be many people I know but I think I would feel better knowing that I have my cousins and few close friends going there. I don't think I'm a very independent person at times =(
Btw, congrats Shee! ONE TIME!

I am dead worried bout my Physics, screw fmaths (sorry Mrs.A) for now. I probably would leave that aside... gahh. I hate the feeling this gave me, knowing that you don't need to do well but can't scew it up either cause its just, meaningless. All this complaining but not doing anything bout it and here I am blogging instead. Argh...
1week down 2weeks to go.(-ish) No I don't want to go back and face school. I can't wait to get it over and done with.

told you they're trying to snatch my momma away from me...

and the rest of my family too.
Its all bout ISO.

to the left to the left...
Picture tells a thousand words, go figure.
don't mess.

I'm sorry,
Cause I've always had and always will.

ain't a brain

2009-04-06T18:13:00.004+08:00

Those who have me in their facebook would have seen ~~a few~~ pictures of me and the whole lot being uploaded. I would upload some here but that would be repetitive, next time la k?
Check out Yan's blog for better kaler pictures (*rolleyes).

Woke myself up at 545am and showered and shiz thinking, 'if I can beat Cheahong and Yiwen in Mario K/Cart then I can do this'. This being driving test, since they both had already gotten their license. Saw Fy there too, at least I'm not alone. We gave each other our support (right, langgar tiang ah please). Sweated like a hippo but all was fine... the lady was very nice she let me through. Thank you.

So far, all I did was :
1) eat
2) gadong/kiulap
3) ONE TIMEd
4) at least badminton
5) laughed alot

I shall try to study tonight. K byez. Lazy la.

In different eyes

2009-04-04T23:22:00.003+08:00

Behind the scene. What others could not see. Thats where all happens, thats when people think you're out of control cause no they don't know what you've been through.
They would never question your doing but start making statements and assumptions.

No idea why but for some reason, I'd like to say... I love my mom lo :D Yea I know people usually go 'my mom's the coolest' etcetc cause of this and that and they start going on and on... definitely they are, unless you're stuck with one whose well not treating you right. Thats a whole new different story. Not trying to pull the whole angelic look and make myself sound like a goodygood girl but I'd like to say, she's cool. Those who've met her would know.

I could talk to her about anything and everything. She has definitely thought me well, at least I've tried as much as I could to be. Glad she was the one. I could come up with a whole list of reasons now but why do so when all can just see it for themselves.
Above all, thanks mom for feeding me well. :D
I must have done something good to deserve this.

I would catch you when you fall

2009-04-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAH.... Glad to know we have one thing in common : Clumsiness.
FEEL THE LOVE!

Long longgg overdued

2009-04-01T16:10:00.013+08:00

Found some pictures taken last half term thats like 6weeks ago? No idea... Cause I'm sure whenever people arrive they'd be like 'not another lengthy wordy post?' Although the people in the photos are well.. the same? ahaha more of the recent one soon (which may well pass their expiry date as well).

PS, I like visiting Eric's room cause he has a broken weighing scale that measures your weight 5kg lighter, at least I think its 5kg or maybe 10kg lighter. I was happy for 53seconds, I think that is what Eric does before he goes to sleep at night. I quite want to do the same. I now know why he's a happy child.

can I be out of the norm?

2009-03-31T19:20:00.005+08:00

A common misconception, I think for most asian (chinese) is that if you're fair then you are pretty. At least I think, not me but the elder generations. I managed to get myself up at 6am on Sunday despite the fact that I only went to bed at 4 in the morning. Visited my laupe eh laubu eh laubu laupe and the whole lot at 3 different places. I get to ride on a speed boat while looking at the scenery of Kg Ayer. Proud is I. (Feck don't get me started on this... its like.. its its EUGH!)

Anyway, why my opening... My uncles, aunts, grandparent and mum have been covering me with towels and making me wear the huge straw hats to make sure I don't get in direct contact with sunlight. I remembered those basketball days when we had to play under the scrooching sunlight. Got myself tanned and comments started flowing from everyone. Funny.
Since going off to Uk, I was less exposed to the sun. My skin got fairer, my grandma questioned the existance of sunlight. LOL.

So yes, I have been back since Friday. Kept the whole "I'm coming back" thing low... Attempted another surprise mission but ahwell most people weren't expecting me showing up in their faces though. And as usual, they did not fail to comment the very fact that I have gained shitloads of weight, Fullstop

Main aim is to do some hardcore revision really but so far its not going as planned. I was Simahwen's first passanger yesterday. She wasn't that bad of a driver. Well done yiwen.

We tried out Kimchi and head off to Deseo. I didn't expect it to be 'big'. I thought it'll be just a boutique... but the items range from home decor to bags to clothes and accessories. I have my eyes on this butterfly necklace. (Maaaa chua wa ke!!!)

Honestly, I cannot handle the whole 'little miss...' Tshirts. It was either never get one or get the whole collection. Yiwen and I were happily going through this and that... and yes we ended up convincing ourselves to get those Tshirts. The power of shopping.

A girl will never admit they have one too many bags or shoes and Tshirts since I'm a tshirt girl.

I wanted to get Little miss trouble, shy, curious and stubborn. But I think thats a little excessive. Settled with stubborn and trouble... let the collection begin. Please don't judge me now HAHAHA.

I could go on with the 'what I did today, what I ate today, where I went today' kind of post but I will bore you guys to death.

Thanks Jon for the little gathering. Whipcream is whooping wheeee. 2% FAT FREE ONE TIME!

Thanks Shee for your very kiut gathering.

I had 4hours of driving lessons.

Pictures can be found on facebook, Yan's and Cheahong's blog :)

PS, Search 'purple bus brunei' on google image and tell me what you see. Thanks JunYee!!! And thanks Cheahong for sharing this. LOL!

theres nothing like

2009-03-29T23:56:00.003+08:00

..."I think 5.3% of you are able to, but to be fair... it is still quite little compared to the 94.7% of you not". ARGH ___ ME SIDEWAYS!

Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin

2009-03-27T16:14:00.002+08:00

Russian roulette is not the same without a gun.

Finally caught Slumdog Millionaire. Those kids have gone through shitloads, and if this is really whats going on (which we know the answer to this) then to think that there are more kids out there who might have went through worse, worst not being able to win that sum of money too. =/ Although I don't quite catch where they start picking up english. They just happen to do so half way through. I think the sweetest part was when Jamal kissed the scar or Latika's face in the end. I have to say, a girl would be crushed if there is scar on her face... Well for me at least, even if its a pimple scar, that can put me in paranoia. Yea yea go ahead...

Last friday, there was a boarding house trip to Leeds for the musical, West Side Story. To be honest, I didn't know what kind of musical it was but I've heard good things so I thought I should sign up for it. I was told before the musical that it was a modern version of Romeo and Juliet, should be worth watching then? And you know how things always turn out if you hold expectations on them. Story line was there, I wasn't really convinced bout how the actors and actresses portray their character. It didn't quite come across? Personally, I don't think love at first sight or love blossoming overnight is real. Maybe it is, but I don't think it'll last anyway.

You know how people always ask that one question 'Why do you love me?' or 'why me?'.

How do you answer to that? to make it sound convincing and true? It might not even be that hard of a question to some people... but for those who finds it hard to trust or believe in words then, you're screwed. Then again, action speaks louder that words was created for a reason no?

I was thinking right (cause I have nothing better to do) if one can find the reason to 'love' someone...
Hence lead me to yahoo-ing it up (no wonder people google things up, sounds better with 'googling') anyway.. Quoted from random searches :

"Writing reasons why I love you does not come easy for everyone, and many like to show how much they love someone instead of writing it down, but writing something engraves it into the writer’s memory, and provides a keepsake for the reader however humble."

..and some of the reasons that came up that made me 'L-O-L' (sorry if this offended anyone and that you've used it before... I might have myself nothing to be ashame about (giggle-giggle*). :

Because you make me feel like, like, like I have never felt before.
duh? If not the same kan? I have another conclusion to this which I rather not mention here.
You and me together, we can make magic.
hell yea, thats how you were made in the first place..
I love you because you bring the best out of me.
uh, yea I must say I think I used this before... or going to try to at some point. HAHAHA.
You're the one who holds the key to my heart.
And the follow up, 'I hope you'll never give it back' or 'I've thrown it into the sea so that you won't ever find it'
You have taught me the true meaning of love.
wait till your mom hears about this...
Love is, what you mean to me - and you mean everything.
this I've never heard before. :s
You are my theme for a dream.
well some people, instead of having sweet pleasant dreams they have dreams that scare themselves. (no I'm definitely not referring to anyone... not)
And, of-course, your intelligence, 'cause you were smart enough to fall in love with me.
THIS I LIKE. I shall use this.

Right... theres this website '101 reasons to why I love you' click if you're that bored.. like me although I did not read all of it, I stopped at 5.

She's like baby I'm like Swayze.

what difference does it make?

2009-03-23T06:48:00.005+08:00

It scares me how much I'm so obsessed over ____ . Its so silly cause its obviously very unnecessary. Its not healthy, not helping in anyways, doesn't help in making me feel like I'm a better person. Its that stupid insecurities that nobody likes to admit having. Scares me how, lets call the object of obsession, X. Scares me how X makes me question bout every bits bout myself.

I should just leave some thoughts to myself now before people start jumping into conclusions again. Nowadays, I realise, that people take your misery as a normal response as to you being totally all right. They'd think you're trying to put on a mask, just trying to be strong.

Lets say you just fall out with a friend, got 5% in your test, just had a break up or gained 6kg without realising... people would ask how you are and when you say 'Yea I'm fine' their response would be 'oh ok, you sure? don't worry bout... yadahyadahblabla' and a whole bunch of their so called words of wisdom would start shooting at you. I think for me, I'll ended up feeling worse that I was before.

If we're not ok, I think we'd tell. Provided that we think that you can cope up with us.

Anyway, I'm very content now.Yea there are still one or two or maybe more things that bothers me but doesn't everyone?

me : Dina I wana watch message in a bottle

Dina : why do you keep watching sad stories?

me : I don't know, I feel like I lack this 'feeling'... I haven't felt that feeling for a while.. Its like something is missing you know. I need to know its still there.

Dina : you're weird.

never believed in forever...

2009-03-22T07:02:00.004+08:00

not before, not now not ever.

You know you're only asking for it if you watch A walk to remember 11pm at night before going to bed.

Was watching Definitely, maybe again this afternoon and I suddenly had the 'ooh I wana watch A walk to remember later' moment and so I did. I guess its one of those movie everybody loved watching along side with the Notebook. To be honest, I liked the book for Notebook better than the movie. I guess I'd rather watch A walk to remember over and over again than the Notebook... Although, I remember going through a phase having the Notebook as my all time favourite but somehow that just went away. Next one, Message in the bottle. haha

I think my memory is failing me,
Me : Sad, can I borrow your definitely,maybe?

Sad : yea sure...
Dina : I thought you've watched it already..
Me : huh? No I haven't
5minutes after the movie started...
Me : um... Dina, I think I've watched this before...
Dina : Yea thats what I said.
Me : right... Ok.. (continue watching)

30-40minutes or so later,
Me : So who ended being the girl's mum and whose the guy with again?
Dina : he ended up being the bestfriend and the first girlfriend was the mum. I thought you've watched it before...

Me : Yea. I did... I just don't remember any of it anymore.

Dina : you've only watched it like 2/3weeks ago...(this, I refuse to believe)

I remember seeing all the scenes... I just don't remember what happens next.

Right... I'm gona start making a list of things I want to do in life now. and if I have to be at two places at one time... at least I know its not Bandar Seri Begawan and Temburong =D

1. ....

3. Visit all the Disney Land in the world.

1235. Be 45kg.

The land before times.

2009-03-20T07:54:00.004+08:00

I loved this movie. Have I mentioned it? I'm sure I have.
I remembered watching the first one when I was young. I cried especially when the theme song, 'If we hold on together' was being played when littlefoot lost his mom =( It was the part when he saw his on shadows on the rocks, it was a big figure that looks a lot like his mom. He thought it was the mom and so he kept chasing it, the nearer he got to the rocks, the smaller the shadow became... He then realised he was alone.

Of course, he's never alone... friends do play a big role don't they? Together with ducky, Petrie, Spike and Cera (who was initially not his friend cause she thinks she's too good for them...) they started their journey to look for the great valley.

I suddenly miss this movie. I haven't got the chance to see the sequels but I would love to do so. $1.2? Ai mai cham wa kua? :D

Include title here

2009-03-19T07:13:00.005+08:00

I'm feeling bloated. Right, the plan was to lose as much weight as possible before easter holidays... Since summer is almost here, the weather might actually get warmer. That I can't be sure of though.. but that would mean that I can no longer hide myself in those huge coats and layers. Not that they did any wonders. Its time to welcome those flowery summer dress...

uh-huh, who am I kidding? I very much not want to be the reason why road accidents happen.

I had cooking lesson for life skills today, Dina and I managed to bake short bread/cake(what is it called again?) which came out pretty good. I was very pleased. I am more inspired now to start baking and cooking. I shall try not to be (h)angat-(h)angat tahi ayam.
While doing so, other people were making scones, chocolate rice krispy, sausage rolls etc. We had a 'small' feast after that. I was a happy child, then. I am not happy now.
Since its Wednesday, I thought 'ohwell, I'll run a few extra km and burn off these calories'. Only then I realised we had interforms netball college1 vs. college2... They put me as GA and GS, so I didn't get to run those miles I thought I would. Basketball was cancelled too. Bummer.
Had my sign language class, I can now say 'I'm a party girl but I don't do one night stand... I like vodka and dirty dancing' Awesome. Which club should I go with that?
Rachael treated 12 of us to Zizzi for dinner, I.am.effin.full. We took pictures. My arms were the size of a giant chicken wing. Her dad bakes awesome cake, which when you eat it with vanilla ice cream screams 'WTF'. The penne della casa was relatively good too. It was nice having a little catch up session.

I'm having another dinner party tomorrow night, where we learn how to prepare a 3course meal. I opted for salmon. We're going to bake chocolate cheese cake with ICINGS all over too.

I'm sorry that I can't be thin for you. I will try la k?

If you got this far, well done. I just felt like typing... I would get myself a diary one of these days. My partner in crime is asleep right now so I have no one to talk to and I can't seem to fall asleep just yet. I am however, very tired.

You know that feeling of not wanting the day to end, wishing you have another extra hour to fit everything in. To finish off that pile of work, refusing to go to bed just so that you can lie to yourself thinking the day is not over yet. But the clock will not stop ticking for you and each second goes by just like that. All you could do is watch the second hand move and can't do anything about it? Why? Do you think if all the leaders in the world get together and say 'Right, mate ye tired of yer life? Lets be cool and defy nature... We deserve an extra day in the week where working should be a crime and doing anything productive will sentence you to 1mth of imprisonment.. Lets name this Sun-neverend-day.' I think its time for me to go to bed. I'm not making sense again.

Elicious

2009-03-18T06:50:00.003+08:00

HAHAHAH
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ERIC!
(I'm sorry cousins)
Have a blast! Don't get wasted too often and fishing doesn't get you girls.
All grown up now loh ric, no longer the cousin I can play lego or toy cars with. Moved on to drinks and card games. Get your license asap so that I wont have to rely on Chai anymore k? :D
All the best with your Alevels!

Ily.Imy.I don't wana have any cousin's baby.

I dedicate this song to you :D

whichever floats your boat ric. LOTSOFLOVE.

It's the risk I'm taking

2009-03-16T05:46:00.003+08:00

The grounds that I stood on don't seem to be the same anymore. Whether or not its the weather that is affecting them, too much rain I guess... or just me moving around and round, I don't know. Right great No doubt another emo start. I should really keep these thoughts to myself but sometimes certain thoughts are just.. silly and unnecessary. Since confiding to innocent beings is unfair to them, I suppose this blog is set up for that reason as well. At least clicking the 'x' button is easier than finding a reason to end a conversation politely, for some anyway.

I'm proper tired after coming back from Birmingham. After donkey years, I finally met up with Khal. Thanks for having us. She's still the same except for the hairstyle, height, straighter nicer teeth, her accent and wildness HAHAHA.. Nah still that girl I've met back then :)
The most random bit about the whole trip is seeing HUOY SHIN! not that its anything bad but going birm to meet Khal and he-who-must-not-be-named-but-I-think-its-pretty-obvious-who-dee-is only to have ended up seeing another girl whom I haven't seen in a 3weeks and won't be seeing until some time later.

I've got this for my birthday, a very practical gift that benefits two person... or maybe more.
thank youuuu =)

as much as I love the letter C

2009-03-13T00:48:00.007+08:00

Most of the people who took As/A level exams in January would have known their results by now, both in UK and in Brunei. I hope that they are to your liking and you'll be step closer to your firm choice.
I have no particular feelings towards mine. Could have been worse, would have been better... wished it was better but one can't ask for too much, can they? I still can't figure why I went through the whole trouble of furthermaths since none of the uni I applied to asked for them. I suppose theres no loss in doing them? but would I settle for a B or worse come to worst, a C? After all, it is a 4th subject and I should really be concentrating on Physics which I'm more likely to screw up in.
I'm still deciding whether or not to resit my FP2, I couldn't bear another sight of root of unity or complex numbers =(

Results aside, whats done is done... Won't be much help dwelling over it.

Talking bout dwelling over things. Looking back at what had happened since 2006/07, my teenage life did have a lot of dramas in it (lol). It seems more appropriate to actually mention this on days like 1st of January or 5th of March but ohwell...

Theres always that same old saying, you'll never know what you've got until its gone. Tell me something I don't know. Obviously nobody would know how losing something/someone feels like until they actually did. Having and losing seem to be just drawn by a thin line.
What about this, when you let go of what you wanted you received what you needed.
I came across that somewhere at some point. Didn't think it made much sense then, it wasn't a phrase often used. Who could actually differentiate their wants and needs? And who wouldn't want their wants and needs both at the same time?

The line "I'm letting you go now and if you come back to me again then we're meant to be" is becoming too overrated. Its whoever says that whose not meant to be in the relationship for letting go in the first place.

That feeling of waiting to talk to that certain someone, checking your phone 24/7 hoping to get a 'hi, how are you?' or the then popular misscalling game, appearing offline on MSN hoping to see a pop up of whoever you're waiting for to be online and casually change your status to online or away and convince them that it was them who didn't notice you being online all along. Even if you know that while you were waiting, and when they did show up... you're not the first person they look for in their online contacts. And talking to them even for 15minutes before they 'gtg', that 15minutes can easily make up for 1hour of you waiting. The extend some people go through just so that they could reach the other person...

I'm rambling again.

I have my fair share, I think, in putting myself into situtations that even a 12year old know not to get into (its sad to admit that my brother actually used this line on me 'You are the pilot of your own life' I think he got that from suite life of Zack and Cody). I doubt he knew what he was saying :P
I suppose that had made me more cautious and paranoid at the same time.
I don't think this post is making much sense. I can't find a conclusion. I might just come back to it again. I shall go to bed now.

Nane...so.. Ibushi?

2009-03-11T00:25:00.002+08:00

Vycc was koreanified, they could well be singing a bunch of unmeaningful words and I would think they're telling a sad story. Blame it on BBF/BOF. I was never a fan of korean dramas. =/ ... still am not.

I'm off to chanel my inner chi and fight off those negative energy in me in a 45mins taichi session. How awesome is that?
Its stupid how insecurities and negativity take over your mind so easily, it is for mine. I guess I'm best known for worrying too much but not do anything about it. Even a blind man can tell. I personally think its the fengshui in my room... I should've paid more attention to Lilian Too when she was the 'in' thing in Astro back then.

Thursday is gona be a bitch.
Hopefully weekend won't be.

Theres like that big mess in my head, trying to untangle it all and put them in words but each time I tried to do so... The sentence just doesn't make sense, either that or I myself can't bear whats written let alone publish it and be read by one or two people out there. I shall try not to drive away those few left who bothers reading this :) Thats real dedication mah.

.
(Supposedly pictures from half term and Cadbury trip)
.

and i will put all my strength into breaking down these walls

2009-03-09T05:22:00.004+08:00

We had a boarding house trip to Cadbury World today. I think I'm sick of chocolate for now. They told us how their dairy one and a half cup milk chocolate was made, their history of finding the cocoa beans. It was the typical I've-failed-a-thousand-times-in-finding-the-perfect-recipe story and in the end, with one and a half cup of milk... the magical Dairy milk chocolate was made. That, had changed the world to a better place.
Moral of the story : If you don't succeed, try try again.
They gave us a shot of thick chocolate which I had marshmallow with.

The journey to and back took a longer time than the cadbury tour itself. I thought I was gona be sick during the ride... Ohwell, since day dreaming and visiting my lalaland is what I do best, I quite like long journeys provided the ride doesn't make me sick. A lot has been going on, choices to be made.

I was looking through my calender and its only a few more schooling week till study leave. Then exams. Then summer holidays. Then the nerve wrecking result day. Then entering Uni. Fingers crossed this time, I hope we all get out first choice. =/ it scares me slightly though whether my choice is the right one.
We'll see then.

omg i'm NINETEEN.

Thank you,

2009-03-07T07:10:00.011+08:00

I'm officially 19 for more than 24hours. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much from my 19th birthday. I thought it would just be another normal day, it was and it didin't even feel different. My birthday started at 4pm in UK, 12am Brunei with texts and phone calls...

On Wednesday, I texted my mum during Brunei time "Ma, I came out of your 'stomach' today". She, of all people should get all these blessings too... Do thank my mum when you see her, I am nothing without her :) and my family.
She replied me with a text full of love and blessings. My dad called me when I was having my sign language class... I excused myself, told him bout the current love of my life...

Eric, I'm sorry... 3ku didn't even object. He say as long as wa suka. AN ZHUA HO?

5th March. whoopDeedoo..

CheaHong called me during breakfast =)
We had morning meeting, the whole school sang for Claire, Katie and I. The teacher asked us each to pick a Hymm. It was embarassing, I don't have a favourite... at least not on top of my head at that moment. Claire opted for 'away in the manger' LOL.

Its nice to have the school singing for you. Rachael, as usual the cake master/mistress baked me a sponge cake with tonnes of cream and strawberry jam. (Even the kitchen staff baked Claire and I a huge cake) The cake itself was PINK. I live for cream lo =) and Sophie baked cookies. Since we had Chemistry off, we decided to use that period for the mini chemist party. Another birthday song I have.
That afternoon, Chern Ming called... Wajeeh and him sang me their version of birthday song, suuwwweet. I have to admit, the day got better and better.
I almost felt bad for being like the grinch or Mr Scrooge. Somehow I just wanted to dig a hole and hide in there till I feel like coming out. I'm thankful enough that someone up there decided to bless me with awesome friends and family.

THANK YOU guys for all the texts, calls, tags, blog wishes, facebook as well as face to face greetings... I appreciate all of them. You know who you are. <33>

What really made the whole 19th birthday memorable was the surprise party my bruneian juniors, Nina and Dina threw for me! They sure heck caught me by surprise!! (Visit Chia Yi's blog for more details and my unglamorous pictures). All I did was scream... and scream. I remembered back in form4, Shin and Yiwen planned a surprise party for me too, that brought tears to my eyes. This time I made sure there weren't any tears just fun and laughters.

The cake from M&S was orgasmic. The presents were lovely. I was the happiest girl on earth, its as if they knew what I wanted. They even cooked me meegoreng, substitute for MeeSua.

Feel the love.
Special thanks to Dina, Sadrina, Chia Yi, Dzaf, Wana, Dilah, Raihan and AnneMarie.
Easily pleased? Keeping things simple ;)

I couldn't thank you guys enough. May all good things come your ways.

Just when I thought none of these could get any better, Sadrina and Dina... They made me scream for a good whole minute. Speechless after that... I could only hug them over and over again.

Thursday night, after my long shower... Sad came to our room as usual checking me out when I'm only wrapped in my towels.
Later, Handed me THAT dvd (I was already dressed then).

A few may have known bout my hunt for this movie...(Chai, remember that shop near London's Eye?) I may even have mentioned this in my blog before - "whoever has that movie, please lend me..".
It may not be that of a nice movie to some but it gave me a good childhood. Also, may be the reason why I'm afraid of frogs. I don't know if any of you cousins remembered but one of my memory I had with all of you was us watching this movie at my place LONG AGO with Victor's hair looking like Alfalfa.
It was also the movie me and Yan LOVED. Especially their secret handshake.
Buckwheat and Porky. You and I, Yan.

the right kind of wrong.

2009-03-03T07:23:00.003+08:00

A week has gone by since my half term holiday. A lot been going, in and outside of school. Teachers had been very generous with the work they gave, they made sure our time is filled with useful things.

In less than (insert number of hours) I will be turning 19.

Thats another chapter of my story closed. More roller coaster ride ahead.
This morning, the normal Tuesday started off with 2frees. Obviously, I wasn't doing work but staring into space and trying to stay awake.. it suddenly hit me that I'm turning 19. Not such a big deal, really. I'm not in that whole party mood. I just want it to be a day full of blessings and wishes, that ought to be enough. Oh how I wish I could spend it with other close friends too. I'm glad at least I have Dina, Sadrina and other close mounties I have here.
I had this sudden urge to go on an apologising spree.
SO, I am truly, sincerely sorry for all the wrong doings I've done to you all, whether or not it is intentional (well...) haha.. but yes, I've got a few responds saying 'the list is quite long la vien...'
Please don't hold grudges. Wa chin cute eh mahhhh x)

The Jun brothers

2009-02-26T05:36:00.009+08:00

26th February
HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY CHUA JUN SHEE!

Best known for his wild party night life. May not be possible to find him at home from 9pm onwards even on school night or nights before exams.
Always will be remembered as the boy who walked out of a piano lesson! HAHA
Doubt he'll read this but I know chai would and he's tell him x)
Have a great one man. Hopefully we'd see each other next year here.

27th February:
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY CHUA JUN YEE!!

Best known for his superb results. Favourite line 'SCREW THAT haven't study la' but results are still amazingly good. Go figure. Improved in culinary skill, I'm still waiting for my dried chilli chicken. Damn I'm hungry.
Best pianist among the 3 of us.
Person whose willing to give me a ride =D haha
Have an amazing one in that awesome restaurant you mentioned. Too bad I can't go =( hrmmm..

As far as I know, they're both still single.. so girls? Hehehe
Lol, pretty convenient isn't it one post with two of you in it. Two brothers with birthday one day after another...

so whens the next party?

some people....

2009-02-25T06:05:00.002+08:00

Watch Taking Liberties and tell me what you think about it.
Some parts are darn right hilarious... Some really depressing. Some just make me wana shoot those people.
You tell me.

I scored 30% in my Physics mock.

2009-02-24T06:03:00.003+08:00

Screw that. Does that just scream dead? or Did it not just scream si liao. Ainako.

Expected. Shame.

You know you had a long day when you can't even construct a sentence that made sense.
Dina : (singing beutiful girl) ..... they'll have you suicidal, suicidal, when they say it's Okay.
Me : it's Over my dear. I don't think people wana kill themselves if things are OKAY.
Nonetheless you're still my favourite homie

Something bout documents..
Sadrina : how did you send yours off?
Me : Oh my friend (referring to shin here) helped me send it.. I asked her to forge my surgery.

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing that's right

In all i've done.. And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do..

I know we'll make it anywhere anywhere from here...
Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear.

Like I said, age is just a number?

2009-02-22T07:18:00.002+08:00

Suang, Rue, Shin and I are having our usual group session talking bout 'LyF3'. Do you know that some of us are turning TWENTY by the end of this year!!? and yours truly is turning 19 in just weeks time x) Its just hard to imagine that just some time ago we were still in our dark blue skirts in chms. (except Rue).
The discussion then diverted to us being twenty three few years later and still single. Well its not such a bad thing if you're one of those independent women and can just deal with flings. But us four are... wondering who we'll ended up with. I, however truly believes that they have nothing to worry bout.. Like come on... you think they need to?
This then moved on to us when we graduated and start our occupation.

Scene 1:
Rue : eh bah lets go lim teh... ~~starbucks~~ Chills? C.zone? Yappy la? (stares at her Rolex watch) say at 2pm?
Suang : I'm still in Temburong next boat is like 4pm only le... (worries bout her Gucci shoes getting dirty again)
Me : eh its forecasted to rain! HOW? I don't wana get my Chloe bag to get wet orh..
Rue : Darn you people. Didn't I tell you ages ago when we're in bhall that these things would happen.

Scene 2 :
Its the weekend, Suang, Shin and I had enough of dealing with kids. So we decided to drive to KL or Miri whichever and have a wonderful ladies night out...
Only to realise we ended up in a wrong illegal club and got ourselves on News at 10.
Meanwhile, Rue is sipping on some strong ~~coffee~~ baileys while dealing with bunch of contracts and saw these fimiliar ladies in their mini black dress and their 7" killer heels hands covering their faces on her 40" flat screen TV.
Rue : DAMN. I KNOW THEM! Should I switch off my phone?
*phone rings*
Rue : Fcuk. Too late... Wonder how much I should charge them this time...

oh the joy.

I was determined to start my endless prep yesterday and today.... Ugh failed again. Its not like its such a proud thing to share and I hate how I deal with my procrastination or should I say laziness. I need to get back to nerd mode, if I was ever one when school reopen. Must. Do. It. I swear I have no idea whats going on in Physics, and chances of me resitting my furthermaths module are high. M2 is greek to me too.
Time to wake up now vycc or Uni won't even happen, let alone life after that.
Ugh. How can some people not do work and still able to end up with straight As. I wonder... Grrr

I've found my new addiction

2009-02-21T03:03:00.003+08:00

Chiann and Shin convinced me that you'll never end up with guys you like. Its always the opposite or something like that... Thats the rule, but I think I'm one looking for exceptions (:
A girl can dream can't they?

Or just a guy who can sweep me off my feet with his musical talent, dazzling smile and one that can hold a good conversation.

Right.

Am I the rule or the exception?

2009-02-20T19:45:00.004+08:00

Woke up pretty early in the morning yesterday, got myself to Waterloo and then to Southampton for the open day. Never been there myself so was quite afraid that I couldn't find my way... it wasn't that bad, could've been worse.. met some friendly randomer on the way there and during the visit so all was good.

I only saw the Uni and not the town itself, but there seems to be a lot of water sports activities going on, I might just pop in another time. Most likely to be my insurance place now. Weigh out the pros and cons...
Reasons why to go to soton :
1) They give away free condoms, just show them your 'card'.
2) They have a dark room to develop pictures (hey I could imagine myself using it.. but Shutter scarred me).
3) They accidentally burnt down one of their building. Firemen refuse to save it cause they didn't know what type of chemicals are in there.
4) Its not that bad for Chemistry, yes?
5) They have a singing italian dog in the lab. named DEFA.

(DEFA Dog, D for Dog. Get it?)
6) They're lab manager person is coo'
7) They gave me freebies.

Reasons not to go :
1) I had to make new friends all over again, scares me.
2) (to be filled in soon)
3)

I was totally exhausted when I came back from soton. K.O-ed after that...
Finally, managed to go out with a few of the xdmz so 8 of us, Cody Sherwin YeeFah Kelvin Hui Jin Chiann Shin and I had dinner in chinatown.. It was nice seeing them again, had our lil chit chat session till 3ish in the morning in bhall with icecreams. ERIC! We missed you! HAHA... and we think JON is still a casanova :) Cody Yfah and Sherwin are planning to be monk. Failed too many times. Nonsense-ning again, aren't I?

ahh... boy have they grown so much.

Ever since December, I've been slacking and putting all work to one side... Kept saying 'I've still got time..' Fcuk. Where have all those time gone?

F4 all over again

2009-02-17T00:43:00.002+08:00

I've been off the world of blogging for quite a while. Its not like my life had been terribly boring to blog about, they're enough to keep me going but of course the world doesn't need to know everything - misery or happiness... =)

Its half term again so I'm laying on the upper bunk bed while waiting for Boys before Flowers to load. Yes, the Taiwan and Japanese version is just not enough... Theres gotta be a Korean one. Not complaining. Made me wonder, how often does a simple or should I quote them 'commoner' meet a hardheaded ice prince whose so full of himself not to mention fully loaded yet manage to bring out the best in him thus living happily ever after? No wonder we live for these TV series, keeps our inner lalaland going.
Don't burst my bubble by saying they don't exist now.

I've managed to fill my cravings while I'm here, Dimsum, Honeylemondrink (Yappy style), milkshakes and pizza with pineapple so far... Tried Korean food as well, doesn't seem so 'korean' except for the metal chopsticks.. haha
Like what a friend of mine said, kampung girl coming to the city like as if never eaten anything before. Yea I've heard... Tam chiak. :) I won't deny. Not a very good thing to admit though... =/

902

2009-02-11T05:58:00.005+08:00

I decided to limit the number of pictures posted since the previous posts has more than enough of your pictures in it already.
9/2/2009.
You've turned NINETEEN!!! (whatever you say, I'm still younger than you) But we both know age is just a number and we'll forever be a child in our hearts. =)
May you be blessed with all the wonders in the world, good health and tonnes of happiness. I still have my fingers crossed with your nextmove, I shall be waiting...

Hrmm... Its getting harder to come up with words cause I've been wishing you since you're 13? It almost seems like you already know what I'm about to say. So I'll save the cheesiness.. Some words needn't need to be said for you to know that me cayang you brabis. (ew.ew.ew)
And I hope you look good in thongs. It may take a while though. heh *vlushx (ew.)

shoot me now, please.

2009-02-07T08:07:00.002+08:00

We're human after all, theres always the equal and oppositeof things and reaction. Even Newton said so...
When theres happiness, theres sadness..
rich poor, tall short, thin fat, friendships enemies, admire jealousy hungry full... etcetc.
You get the point and then theres the classic one :
Love and Hate.

All easily turned into one another. One second you're friend the next you're not.

If you think you know me well enough and that you really think you're a friend to me, list 5things you dislike bout me.. knowing that its mostly people I know reading this blog anyway. I won't come killing you, I promise. (HAHA)
Reply through tagboards, comments, msn or message... whatever floats your boat. We'll see if others think the same way.
Why am I doing this? :) (its fun)
cause its so easy for people to just compliment you (and who knows if they're just saying that to make you feel better right?) you've never actually heard people saying anything other than that... and if they do say it, its most probably behind your back anyway..
And thing is, if you're that perfect like how you're always been told.. then you're not human lo please, get out of this planet. Worse even, if you think you're perfect too.. then I'd personally send you out of this planet.

Lets see how strong human can be shall we? (also to see how many people read this blog la HAHA)

Try it yourself too ;)

love and always,

2009-02-06T05:55:00.004+08:00

In very rare occasions, my webcam would miracalously work and coincedentally Yan offered to have a webcam session :)
I guess my laptop likes her too. <3>

Until your heart stop beating.

2009-02-04T05:39:00.002+08:00

My head's feeling heavy, my eyes dry and it feels like its gona close any moment while I'm typing this but for some reason I'm in the blabbing mood so bear with me, will you? :)

I suppose everyone would've known bout the big snow day UK's been having (who wouldn't? Facebook is like the new CNN or the News at 10). Talking bout facebook, it amaze me how some people take everything in it so seriously especially the 'In the relationship with...' or when a status change. It really does grab attention, and others do come up with really funny comment. lol.. ahwell keeps me entertained =)
Not complaining, just amazed at how these things work.

Anyway cause of the snow, it gave me enough reason to not head to Bristol for the Openday yesterday night and supposedly back tonigh at 11ish. But honestly, I was just lazy. I didn't even bother with packing and ya one of those lazy days so the tickets gone to waste but at least I don't have to keep up with the long hour journey. I'm just feeling lazy nowadays. I blame the weather. Also, due to that, I've been filling myself with junks enough to clog my arteries (touchwood*).
I even finished one proper cake after sharing 1/3 with Dina and Sadrina.
IT WAS AWESOME! (Another tick in my to-do-in-life list). No guilts up until I feel my stomach grew an inch both sideways and outwards.

I'm on my third book now and its getting more and more addictive.
Half of the college people are starting to read it too. lol
I want a protective/sweet/breathtaking/allthebestnounsyoucanthink of vampire/human too!

:( I wonder if I can get one off Amazon or E-bay. (A)

I will fight for you.

vwxyz.bii

2009-01-31T07:16:00.004+08:00

(Stole it off fb, hope you don't mind. lol)

Happy 19th birthday =)
Words are just understatements at this point. So I'll go with the usual sayings,
'May all good things come your way and that you'll be bless with all the happiness in the world. All the best in what you're doing and do know you're never alone'.
You know better than anyone else... Be good ok?
Love always,
xx

you know I do.

2009-01-30T05:54:00.003+08:00

I haven't been having enough sleep lately. Someone or should I say a certain vampire has been keeping me awake. I'm not complaining :) Lol.
Resisted myself from reading on, I don't want it to end but I can't get it off my hands. It felt like a part of me is gone when I'm not in 'my own' world. Ya get what I'm sayin'?

Anyway I've been meaning to post this for a long time..
I just couldn't find the right words to say, how proud I am of both of you.. I think you know.

MTTakaGCCCakaY, you've been there with me throughout my MS years. We were never classmate until lower6 GP(and that too didn't last for long) but we'd still catch up every morning or talk on the phone after school. As well as tuition, and enjoying food and going out and being silly... not so bad after all huh? I can see why now we're never meant to be in the same class.
I remember those days where you run to me or vice versa either screaming with goodnews or sighing with tears. Still do, only virtually.
LWY, though we've known each other for like.. donkey years! We only started to properly talk like what form5? yea we fight too, like lil kids who've stolen each others candies or favourite soft toys. But I guess there are those time where we had our laughs... though for now that seems like a long time ago.
Whatever it is, I do hope we're still be able to hang out like old times =)
This time, wenyi you better make sure you set off from your place an hour earlier. I remember me and Yan waited for aka and wy.. Ain't funny I tell you.

I'm definitely not up for the idea of losing people close to me. So be around ok?
What am I to do without my close friends.... YOU TELL ME!

I have faith in both you as always, no matter what you do or did.
(I felt like I've said this a thousand times man haha)

food.shopping.craziness.

2009-01-26T02:21:00.015+08:00

What is a girl to do the day after her mourning and confussions? Need I say more? Shopping, food and some random concerts will do for the moment.
I shopped so much, my wallet shall collect dust till the next allowance is out lol.
I ate so much.. ... well I'll keep eating that way! =D
We had this mini concert at the grand opera house where our own teacher in school, Mr.D held his concert.. HUGE, thats their band name.
They've been hanging around for a long time, doing covers only I suppose.
Most of the audience are in their middle age and above. I could see grandpas and grandmas banging their head and waving their hands in the air. I think i enjoyed watching them dancing as much as watching the concert itself! It was a nice crowd though.
Good fun. Good way to get away from those long period of exams period.

At the usual place, La Piazza. LOVE it still.

Mmhmm, yours truly had seafood risotto and pizza with TONNES of pineapple...

...all by herself!
even the waitress thought I was ordering for Dina and Sadrina.
I called back home this afternoon, my grandma though I'm not feeding myself well, my dad took over the phone quickly and started asking me to eat as much as I want... I ain't defying them for sure! so cute la. I could hear the other cousins laughing. Even my mum laugh when it was her turn to talk to me <3>

and later at night...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to all of you out there. May this be a good year for everyone and many red packets coming your way.
Another year of not being able to spend CNY with the rest of you guys but its ok.. Its not the end :)
Have a great one.
x

Its a good thing tears will never show in the pouring rain.

2009-01-24T05:42:00.005+08:00

EMO. RAMBLING MOMENT. Don't say I never warned you.

I'm having that heavy feelings inside me again, like as if theres a heavy rock laying on my chest. Why the feeling? I'd like to know too... PMS? nah, I think I had this month's one already. SO why the sudden change in mood?
I suppose most of us have those days where all you do is laugh and laugh your worries away just cause you can... and forgot bout how misery felt like until it came back and looked for you. Roight, I know I'm not those 78years old granny who can tell you moral of stories and talk bout how shit life can be.
Sometimes, forgetting where the grounds are isn't really a clever thing do to. One thing for sure, well to me at least, is that happy moments never last, well neither will the unhappy ones but obviously one outweighs the other and make you feel shittier each time. Fcuk.
Digging a hole and dump all your misery into it doesn't quite answer the question either. Theres bound to be one annoying naked mole rat who'll dig up random holes and how coincedence things can be, it'll dig that hole of yours to. Grr go fcuk other holes instead.

Replacing Edward Cullen with Eric Teo for the moment just cause he's awesome isn't a solution as well. Cause one day you know you'd still miss him, him being Eric Teo obviously.
At this point, if you're still bearing with my nonsense... You're my true friend.
Noticing me getting mixed up with my feelings over Edward and Eric also show signs of me walking into walls in my sleep at night without me realising... hence that dangerous thought.

Sometimes, its just hard to walk away... hard to stay, hard to look back. Hard not knowing whats not right anymore. I'm not complaining, no I'm really ok.
Once upon these days...
I'll learn not to lean on shoulders anymore.

xxx

2009-01-23T07:38:00.001+08:00

I know christmas is well, almost a month ago.. but ya...

WHEEEEEE...

2009-01-22T05:43:00.009+08:00

Right, as expected. None of the papers were in my favour but I'm not gona fret about that now. As much as I know that I'm totally screwed, I'll let that settle somewhere at the back of my mind. When the result day comes, then I'll panic. Do allow some occasional rambling bout me worrying bout my result though... it is me we're talking bout here after all.

For once I manage to get these pictures up and running, posted them on facebook now and some random few here. Even Wenyi joined facebook already! Guess theres not much point posting pictures up twice is there?

At Oxford:

those that were left during x'mas in London...

lol, me and Wana, attempt to be mob : FAILED!

We went Saffron last Friday night (I was that close in not goin cause of 'exams' but FOOD, will always come first) for ChiaYi's birthday.. SUANG! betcha forgot to wish her, she said so herself! HAHA.. jk babe.

I had that, which I forgot the name of it already... BUT..
the lamb korma there is LOVE. I'm definitely going back there again.. screw the santan in it or spices or all the fats... ITS L.O.V.E. drooool~
Even I scare myself in that picture... =s

soo ya.. THANKS a bunch for all the lucks guys. To Cheahong, got your texts and offline messages. you're so sweet la.. and don't sigghh too much love, you have like an amazing smile woman! PUT THEM IN USE!! :) talk to you soon all right? <3

HELP!

2009-01-16T06:19:00.003+08:00

Theres a 25% chance of me not getting the grade I should be for my Chemistry next Tuesday.
50% chance of me screwing up my FP2 on Monday.
75% chance of me not showing up for my FP3 on Wednesday (I'm seriously considering).

Yea I know I haven't put in much effort. Its partly my fault but meehhh!!! I tried now, I really can't do these shiz. x(
I need more than just luck and miracle. I need... magic!! (???)

I'll just keep praying before I go to sleep at night and lets just hope for the best shall we?

AAAHHHHH
I'm screaming inside!
Someone please hear me.~~save me~~.

Love is....

2009-01-11T02:47:00.005+08:00

I couldn't get myself into study mood since 4 in the afternoon. Its 9pm now.
I wished I did more work, I complained so much yet do so little!

Anyway,
I was reading through my past entries.. and had those flashback in my mind (hence the lack of work) I guess I like typing nonsense trying to say what I feel but at the same time not be too direct. But if you know me well enough, certain things I said are either directly to you, or other certain people. Gota say, I'm quite impressed with what I've gone through for the recent last 2years. Held on to something I knew I want so badly.. and now.. Now I don't actually know whether to let it go because its better that way or keep it just cause I've been keeping it. I'd miss it. I'd miss you.

I even made 10things I hate/despise/etcetc. (I love it! It still applies till now.. haha)
Talked shit loads of rubbish bout impression you gave to someone or have on someone.
Lotsa complain of being fat or dumb.
Stuff bout relationship..
Food.
Random words of comfort.

Lol.. guess thats one reason for having a blog. If ever I start losing my memories... I can just read through my entries!
Told Dina I'm gona make a cheesy blog bout what I think bout love. Cause at the moment, I don't know what love feels like... The feeling of loving someone or the feeling of being love. I'm just not feeling anything :S
But I might do that some other time...
before hand, you lots can tell me what you think when I say,
"Love is...."

that silly game once called whuutt?

2009-01-10T05:16:00.003+08:00

I still don't know.

During dinner today,
We decided to join the other Bruneian juniors on the same table..

While I'm busy eating like theres no care in the world,

Sadrina : Vien, kamah! (vien, something on you)
Me : Checks behind my hand, my shirt, my elbow...
after a good 10-15seconds,
Sadrina : Your right boobs!
Me : =.= I can't possibly see under there kali ah... (Wipe shirt off with tissue then wipe mouth)
Dilah : SEDUCING AH!! ($#$#@%$??)
Me : *wagseyebrow*

Yea you get the picture. No don't picture. I guess its one of those moment you laugh on the spot but if you try to tell this to others whose not there... its just... not funny. Plus, those who ate with me before knows how messy I get. =s

Right, after showering I decided to beautify myself (HAHA) by putting mask (my mama told me not to be friend with ugleh people, sorry. LOL) I think I see quite a few people trying to plan 'the death of vycc'
I've got terribly dry skin though. Whoever invented moisturiser is my hero. I can't go through one day without it. I seriously look like I've aged 10x when I don't have my moisturiser on.

While waiting for it to dry, I decided to play that Right na na na na song... Dina started dancing! And I couldn't help but laugh!! You know the feeling of something solid on your face, as if theres cement on your face and you try not to laugh. Yea that... Couldn't stop laughing, had to just wash it off later. Question is, what happen ya if you laugh while you have your mask on? Do you like get lines? =s All I know is to apply them but whether or not it work... well at least I've made myself feel better by trying. :)

Another pointless post. I just felt like rambling :S and refuse to do anything productive.

Time to call my fairygod mother.

2009-01-08T01:30:00.004+08:00

Remember how I said my doings will catch up on me one day and I'd regret it? Yea.. they came alil tad early. Ohwell.
THANKS a bunch for all the lucks and wishes as well as the borrowed once ;) haha! I need them definitely.
Had my first PE of the term today. Dayum I'm so rusty now.. I couldn't run to save a life, if a frog was to chase over me. I'd probably just... die. Ew...
Took the courage to weigh myself today... WRONG MOVE!
But its coo' at least I get to eat what I like, I only have like what 60more years to live kali ah. Eat them food while I can! (if you do feel bad about eating.. just complain to make yourself feel better. In a way you 'know' you're guilty and will someday do something bout it). Psychological thinking there my friend. HAHA.. I suppose Suang and Rue had enough of me doing that over the holidays.

I'm talking gibberish here.. Just to let y'all know.. I'm still holding on the rail. But some evil monkey is playing 'this lil finger went to town.. and this lil pinky came to play'..
I'm slipping, losing grip.

I'm fine,
told myself a thousand times.

Back to reality.

2009-01-05T23:37:00.013+08:00

At first, I dread bout the x'mas holidays cause of the interviews I have to face.

Once thats done, I know I have to revise for Jan modules.
And when holidays over, I have to face the exams.
See what I mean? I want January to be over!!! Curses.

But I gotta admit, I had a good hols. It was a good break from everything... From books and from all worries that I actually can't be bothered with revisions. Food, shopping, late nights and more food. Not regretting yet, at least I had fun.
I know its gona get to me soon, cause my first 2 papers are on the 9th, on the same day. I would regret not starting earlier, that lil voice would keep running through my head 'I told you so'
Ohwell we'll see. Fingerscrossing* Wish me luck.
Also, all the best to all sitting for Jan module. Rue!!! You can one with your history :D lol..

Tried uploading more pictures from the x'mas dinner at oxford but it kept not going through, gave up trying.
Sad ah.. only these for now lol. Shinnnnn I miss you. Goodluck with your econs.

Procrastination

2009-01-03T05:56:00.003+08:00

For some reason, this place.. UK is starting to grow in me. I don't wana go back for now. Obviously, I can't anyway. Just don't know why...
Am I running? or just liking the idea of stayin'?
Have I found my solitude?
I like how you can get from one place to another so easily without having to wait for someone to get you. How if you wana shop for something in particular, you can, provided your wallets not empty la. And all the other reasons I suppose?
Don't get me wrong, I miss home too... oh so much, my family especially. You just can't get the best of both world, can you?

I said it once, and I gota say it again... I'm EFFIN SCARED bout what I'm doing to myself, by not doing anything at all. I don't know whats got in to me but its getting worse. At least before, when I know I do last minute work, they're managable work. Now, those last minute work are just ancient greek to me!
Still trying to get my head around some certain things.

Now before anyone jump to any conclusion, I'm fine. :)
I can't upload pictures again, for some reason I can't get into the program I usually use to resize my pics and internet is just.. not as fast.

I just don't like this feeling